In the Spirit of Valentines, A Redneck Love Poem

Collards are green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flappin in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and best of all
you ain’t got them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in may.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth
for which I am proud.
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete.
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me "n" you's like a moon pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for a Valentine's Day,
they git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Krogers,
that's impressive, I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever",
they say, oh so suave and so couth.

But for this man, honey,
these jus won't do.
Cause yo're too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds....
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!!

Anon. from the internet