Sunday, December 18, 2011

I'm Changing My Address

Shopping these days can be challenging. Especially if you go to stores where the "Sales Associates" appear to be trained in the art of never making eye contact or even acknowledging you are present even when you are three feet away.

Common View of a Walmart Associate.



How hard is it to get help at Walmart? Obviously it was more than this poor woman could take. She was there SIX hours before someone noticed her. If someone had just noticed this lady during her first hour she prolly would have left with the Easybake oven she came for, but no, they ignored her and drove her to this.

This has gotten me to thinking tho. Could I don a Walmart vest and pull my car in the lift bay and change my oil without anyone noticing. Or set up a microwave on and endcap and heat up a pizza and give samples away while filling my belly. Could I throw a Superbowl party back in the TV section? Orr... maybe just maybe I could move in. They have everthing you need to live. And all ya gotta do for them to leave you alone is try to make eye contact. Ma'am could you uh?? I didnt think so.

Then after a while you notice some of the staff never changes and realize there are 7 or 8 of you living there. So look for me in the pages of "People Of Walmart".

12 comments:

Jolene said...

The Walmart meth lab is in what aisle? Just when you thought you've heard everything.

I hope you get settled soon and make yourself at home.

Pearl said...

You know, I don't understand how people can happily shop at WalMart. I mean, yeah, some of it is cheaper -- but if you're going to shop there, well, someone's got to WORK there, and they just don't pay for sh*t. It's easy for me to avoid WalMart in MN, but I have a friend in FL and it's practically the only game in town...

Pearl

p.s. Loved your comment re: the missing fingers, BTW. :-) I have three uncles missing a number of fingers/half-fingers. One of the dangers of living on a farm, I guess!

Julianna said...

I have typed this out 3 times, hopefully this will work now.

My uncle worked for a large home improovemnet store like homes depot years ago. For what ever reason they sold canoes.

One day, two men walked over to the canoe section dressed in orange jumpsuits similar to those that the staff wore. They picked up a canoe, walked out the front door, strapped it to the roof of their car, and drove away.

No one suspected a thing.

So. Cal. Gal said...

Here's my question...why would you want to be in Wal-Mart longer than you absolutely have to?

Señorita Andalucíana said...

LOL! I love that site :D So funny. I think you could live at Wal-Mart. Seriously.

ipenka said...

You just gotta act like you belong and have every right to be there.

What...the store manager hasn't gotten the memo about random meth lab testing yet? Boy, is he out of the loop!

Crystal Pistol said...

I love to hate that store. I go there far too often.

I feel badly for that lady. You know she's got it rough when Walmart is her only recourse. Drugs are bad, kids. Don't try this at home (or at your local Walmart.)

I used to have dreams about being locked in a grocery/dept store. They were always pleasant though. I gobbled up all the cookies in the cookie isle while watching TV on a bean bag in the electronics section.

Diane said...

Living at Wal-mart would be like my worst nightmare coming true.

I went there last week and it may be another year before I go back. If ever!

Ach du lieber said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ach du lieber said...

I could never live in Walmart. The smell would get to me. Plus the one by my house is open 24/7, which means I'd never get any rest.

Target on the other hand...

HAZMAT TEAM!! CODE 2 in aisle 6!!!

Carol said...

Please invite me to the superbowl party. Think of all the wonderful appetizers and no one needs to do a beer run. Please oh please let's do this!

Mom of 12 said...

Don't love Walmart.
Sandy