The Honeymoon and the Deliverance Gang

As the wife and I were planning our wedding we were trying to decide on a honeymoon spot. I had just been laid off so the funds were slim. I was at my parent’s house one day and WT (my old boss/family friend) was there. He said we could use his cabin in Tennessee, free. Wow, that sounded good. I was a bit surprised because the last day I worked for him I hit him in the leg with a sledgehammer and ran the truck over some concrete forms.
We hit the hillbilly highway the day after the wedding. We drove 4 miles up the mountain on a dirt road over condemned bridges and thru the creek to get to the cabin. It really was a nice place. WT was there but packing to come home. He laid down the ropes. No food outside, Don’t walk around outside after dark, especially with food. Huh?? Bears. Ohhhh, thanks for the warning.

We moved in, got comfy and started planning our excursions for the week. The Worlds Fair was in Knoxville and since Y2K prolly messed up calendars looking back that far, it was 1982. Yea, way back. Gatlinburg was only 2 hours away so we decided to hit that first.

Our trip the next day to Gatlinburg was wet and foggy. It had stopped raining when we got to town so we saw the sights and had a sepia photo made in period clothing at the Old Timey Photo place. We shopped, ate and looked around till time to go. It was a bit foggy so we decided to stay the night in lieu of facing the fog for 2 hours. We found no rooms were available due to the World’s Fair but were pointed to the Chamber of Commerce for help. When we asked about a room his eyes lit up. “I got just the place. There are cabins up the mountain called Black Bear Lodge, I’ll call for ya”. As he cups his hand over the mouth piece he says “Hey, Bubba, I got two more for ya”. “He says he can come get ya cause your car won’t make it up the mountain”. Bells, whistles, and sirens go off in my head. I swear I seen this movie before and it didn’t turn out well. Can you say,” squeal like a pig!!”? I looked at the wife and I can tell she was hearing Dueling Banjos too so we politely declined, shuffled our feet toward the exit and about ran to the car.

We drove thru Pigeon Forge on the way back, only then Dolly hadn’t dreamed of Dollywood yet. As we pulled thru the creek and up to the cabin we noticed the lights were on upstairs. Problem was we haven’t been upstairs. I left wifey in the car with instructions to high tail it out if something happened. It wouldn’t do any good because she couldn’t drive a straight drive. I snuck into the house quiet as I could and reached into the cabinets to get my gun. What?? You didn’t take yours on your honeymoon? I’m from the south. No, I don’t know why I didn’t take it to Gatlinburg too. Get off my case. Anywho, I about broke plates getting it out quietly, sheesh. I start up the stairs looking like Barney Fife with a shaking gun. Squeak, squeak, squeak, each step sounding more and more familiar. When I made the turn at the top of the stairs it hit me. I was up here last night getting a quilt. Feeling braver now I looked around to be sure we were visitor free and made sure I turned the lights out. We went to bed a bit shaken and exhausted from the day’s events just to be awakened at 6:30 the next morn by a knock on the door by an extra from These Hills Have Eyes. Yea, I had my gun this time. Turns out it was a neighbor (closest house is a mile away) WT had asked to check on us. He wanted to make sure we were OK (Survived) and they had spotted a bear in the creek earlier this morn. Earlier?? It was only 6:30, what were they doing below the house before 6:30? I’m thinking WT is getting me back for the sledgehammer incident. While he was speaking I noticed concrete trucks going up the road. They were building a Chateau at the top of the mountain. When we went out later to pick up some groceries we looked back at the bridge. The condemned sign had been taken down. load limit problem solved I spose. Overall it was a nice if not memorable Honeymoon.

How was your honeymoon?

Was Mom Wrong?

This morning I was thinking, “I hate being me”. There are folks here at work that tend to take advantage of my willingness to help out at the expense of my own projects and I have problems saying NO. I was raised to be courteous, helpful and respectful of others. It was always put the other person first and it was helping the company out. It is also a Biblical principle. Recently I read an article on AOL titled “On the job, Nice guys may finish last”. http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2010/03/27/nice-guys-finish-last/ I can look back and see how it has prolly hindered my professional progress in the past. I have always been of the opinion that “I don’t have to play all the games as long as I know the rules”. Turns out that maybe I should have played the games. I went into the boss’s office this morning to tell him about the article and announced that I was going to be more assertive and not so willing to bail folks out of their own messes. He kinda looked at me and then I said, SORRY. Sorry??? Crap, I can’t even pretend to be tough. He got a good laugh. I walked off shaking my head. So, I guess I am who I am and that’s all I’ll ever be. That kinda sounds like a song. For the big picture mom was right. Just not at work I spose. Nice guys may finish last but in the end I’ll still be a nice guy. Ya’ll have a wonderful day.

Everything I Know About Cars I Learned While Drinking Or I Saw The Lightening

Before I was married I worked with a friend (RT) repairing and building portrait studio cameras. He had a friend (RA) that had a barn where they worked on cars at night. I had a knack of being able to disassemble most anything and actually put it back together (without having spare parts left over) so they invited me to join them. We stayed pretty busy fixing cars and trucks for family, friends and friends of friends. We did everything from replace windows to rebuild transmissions. I really didn’t know much about cars to start with but I learned quickly. We worked together for about three years and made about $300. Not really a big profit but I learned a ton that has saved me thousands since. The most important thing was RA’s dad owned a little country store. Most nights we would take a road trip to the store and pick up a few beers, link sausage, hoop cheese, and crackers. We worked hard but we partied pretty hard too. The building was made of tin and despite our best efforts to seal it up when the wind blew outside it blew inside too. In the winter we would sit around the wood stove and toss back a few and try to stay warm between turns on the cold concrete floor under a vehicle. During the summer we opened the huge doors and ran the fans and had fish fries. Oh, we worked some too. One summer we were working on a 54 Ford pickup truck. We were swapping the engine and transmission out with a 289 Mustang engine and 4 speed tranny. It was storming outside, with heavy rain and lightening. The truck was up on steel jack stands and I was leaning across the fender with a beer in my hand looking into the engine compartment. All the sudden we heard a loud thunderclap. Ya know how you count seconds to tell how close it is. Well there weren’t no seconds to count. Something lifted me 4 inches off the floor. The guys said I had arcs coming out of my feet. I had to sit down a bit as my muscles felt a bit weird but I was fine and only spilled a little bit. I still love a summer thunderstorm but I don’t watch them from metal buildings anymore.

Ever had your life light up??

College days ahead

I took a nice trip this weekend with my high school senior daughter. We went to the coast to see her college and OH jeepers it made me wish I owned a Rascal. I don’t think I have ever walked so much in my life. They claim the college has gone green. Well my face was pale and my feet were red. The green finally came into play in the financial meetings. Seems I make too much for her to get financial aid but too little to make the payments. We toured the dorms. I swear we were in the same building but saw two totally different places. I saw little pig sty’s all in a row. She saw a castle free from parental guidance. It was a nice trip and she seems excited. I thought we would get time to talk as it was a 3 ½ hour drive. Hah, how wrong I was. Out popped the IPOD, I might as well been in the car by myself. Coming home was a nice drive, at least till I got about 20 miles from home. We drove the back roads. The fields were gorgeous and then we realized why. The odor filled the car. Tis the season. The fields were fertilized by chicken manure. It didn’t help that the back roads are lined with chicken farms. I got in the car this morn and the odor was still in the car. It took a few miles with the windows down to air it out. Aside from the airy welcome home it was a nice trip.

The Government Thinking Process Explained

I think this may explain alot.


“I don’t see why the legislature should be in the business of artificial intelligence, real intelligence or any intelligence at all.”
–Rep. Hunt Downer (D-La.)

I Need CPR Can I Help

I look forward to taking Little A to the ball field for practice. I played softball for years and I have been helping the coaches and working with the girls. At the field tonite, one of the girls asked me to throw with her. We threw for about 15 minutes warming up when the coach called everyone in. The girl’s mom asked her if she was warmed up and she said yes, she was throwing with the old guy. Wha… ??? You should have seen the mom’s and coach’s faces. The apologies started flowing. It was pretty funny. I ain’t no spring chicken, I’m 50. My glove is older than most of the moms there. I have 3 older kids ( 23, 21, 17) and Little A (7) was the late surprise. It didn’t bother me a lick but it was a bit of a surprise. When she was first born we had folks at church ask us if we were playing grandma and grandpa this weekend. I about threw him off the balcony. I handle it a lot better now. Have your kids ever said anything to give you that OH NO moment?

Child Rearing Advice

"Never raise your hand to your children--it leaves your midsection exposed" --Robert Orben