The Honeymoon and the Deliverance Gang

As the wife and I were planning our wedding we were trying to decide on a honeymoon spot. I had just been laid off so the funds were slim. I was at my parent’s house one day and WT (my old boss/family friend) was there. He said we could use his cabin in Tennessee, free. Wow, that sounded good. I was a bit surprised because the last day I worked for him I hit him in the leg with a sledgehammer and ran the truck over some concrete forms.
We hit the hillbilly highway the day after the wedding. We drove 4 miles up the mountain on a dirt road over condemned bridges and thru the creek to get to the cabin. It really was a nice place. WT was there but packing to come home. He laid down the ropes. No food outside, Don’t walk around outside after dark, especially with food. Huh?? Bears. Ohhhh, thanks for the warning.

We moved in, got comfy and started planning our excursions for the week. The Worlds Fair was in Knoxville and since Y2K prolly messed up calendars looking back that far, it was 1982. Yea, way back. Gatlinburg was only 2 hours away so we decided to hit that first.

Our trip the next day to Gatlinburg was wet and foggy. It had stopped raining when we got to town so we saw the sights and had a sepia photo made in period clothing at the Old Timey Photo place. We shopped, ate and looked around till time to go. It was a bit foggy so we decided to stay the night in lieu of facing the fog for 2 hours. We found no rooms were available due to the World’s Fair but were pointed to the Chamber of Commerce for help. When we asked about a room his eyes lit up. “I got just the place. There are cabins up the mountain called Black Bear Lodge, I’ll call for ya”. As he cups his hand over the mouth piece he says “Hey, Bubba, I got two more for ya”. “He says he can come get ya cause your car won’t make it up the mountain”. Bells, whistles, and sirens go off in my head. I swear I seen this movie before and it didn’t turn out well. Can you say,” squeal like a pig!!”? I looked at the wife and I can tell she was hearing Dueling Banjos too so we politely declined, shuffled our feet toward the exit and about ran to the car.

We drove thru Pigeon Forge on the way back, only then Dolly hadn’t dreamed of Dollywood yet. As we pulled thru the creek and up to the cabin we noticed the lights were on upstairs. Problem was we haven’t been upstairs. I left wifey in the car with instructions to high tail it out if something happened. It wouldn’t do any good because she couldn’t drive a straight drive. I snuck into the house quiet as I could and reached into the cabinets to get my gun. What?? You didn’t take yours on your honeymoon? I’m from the south. No, I don’t know why I didn’t take it to Gatlinburg too. Get off my case. Anywho, I about broke plates getting it out quietly, sheesh. I start up the stairs looking like Barney Fife with a shaking gun. Squeak, squeak, squeak, each step sounding more and more familiar. When I made the turn at the top of the stairs it hit me. I was up here last night getting a quilt. Feeling braver now I looked around to be sure we were visitor free and made sure I turned the lights out. We went to bed a bit shaken and exhausted from the day’s events just to be awakened at 6:30 the next morn by a knock on the door by an extra from These Hills Have Eyes. Yea, I had my gun this time. Turns out it was a neighbor (closest house is a mile away) WT had asked to check on us. He wanted to make sure we were OK (Survived) and they had spotted a bear in the creek earlier this morn. Earlier?? It was only 6:30, what were they doing below the house before 6:30? I’m thinking WT is getting me back for the sledgehammer incident. While he was speaking I noticed concrete trucks going up the road. They were building a Chateau at the top of the mountain. When we went out later to pick up some groceries we looked back at the bridge. The condemned sign had been taken down. load limit problem solved I spose. Overall it was a nice if not memorable Honeymoon.

How was your honeymoon?